In lighter news, it's been a pretty good year as far as self-exploration goes. I learn something new every other day. If not, I simply am what I am. Sorting out the areas of my identity can be difficult, especially when I need to articulate for other people. Regardless, I've become more accustomed to simply being myself without checking behind myself for others' sake. There's things I still need to flesh out like muir medianhood. I’ve also decided to be a werecreature, though not in the way I was in the past. I’m becoming a werehorse, or rather, being a horse led to me being a werehorse. Basically, it’s a paratype. I’ve thought I was a werewolf years ago, and then I thought I was a werelion at some point. This is one of those experiences where it technically counts as a linktype, but it doesn’t feel like I’m linking or trying to reinforce anything. I’ve been a werecreature before so it’s not a new experience, just a different species tied to it. The only applicable factor is choice, which my prior experiences lacked. Who knows, maybe I’ll become a cheval-garou based on how much I related to the rougarou in South of Midnight.

There’s things I've started to question as well. The latter of which applies to two things: 1. questioning the possibility of being factfolk (with Aesop being the facttype) and 2. questioning an alterfictional tie to Merlin (I've been brushing up on Arthuriana readings). I'm leaning towards my questionings with Aesop since Merlin feels more like a spur-of-the-moment, "Wouldn't it be wild if I was (x)?" sort of thing. In contrast, what I can say about Aesop is this:

• Aesop is like me / has my vibe.
• Aesop is connected to me through other experiences (non-relative to alterhumanity).
• I share traits with Aesop.
• I cannot tell whether or not I am Aesop as he lived, though I do see myself as and feel immensely connected to the fictionalized accounts/depictions of Aesop.
• Though I'm not sure what the exact framework of this is, I know it doesn't have a spiritual or metaphysical component. I don't have a past, parallel, or future life as Aesop. 

A while ago, I wrote up a character bio for my vaguesona (as an umamusume). Much of it was modeled after Durandal’s character bio since I questioned her for a brief period. Now that my relationship with this fictomere is more clear, I was able to set aside time and revise everything. Here’s what I’ve got:

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Name: Sword of Soulaan

Birthday: March XX 

Height: 171.5 cm

Weight: Perfect for pulling carriages

Nicknames: Sword (by most people), Prince Charming (jokingly), Your Grace (by Durandal; Sword begrudgingly accepts it)

Strengths: Encouragement, writing in cursive, analysis of old literature

Weaknesses:  Lonely travels, loud voices

Ears: They perk up at the sound of fanfare.

Tail: It stands idle behind him, as stiff as a blade but allegedly feels as soft as velvet.

Family: Fans are surprised to find he’s related to some rather cold-blooded Umamusume, but he’s proud of this fact if anything.

My Rule: “Be the hero of your own story, no matter how tough it gets!”

Phone Background: A collage of quotes and artwork from his favorite stories, mostly from the literary Romance and Gothic movements.

Before A Race: In true gentlemanly fashion, he shakes hands with his opponents.

Best Subject(s): Anything within the humanities. Literature, history, and Umapology (anthropology) are his favorites!

Secret Pride: Next to Rob Roy, he’s everyone’s go-to for a book recommendation!

Frequent Purchase(s): Books, fountain pens, locally made art and craftwork (to send home to his sisters)

• His “princely”, fairy tale image makes him popular with young fans, humans and Umamusume alike.
• His voice is often complimented. He’s considered volunteering as a storytime reader because of it.
• He loves role-playing games, but he’s very particular about open-world environments.

“My dream is to touch the hearts of the world with my racing! Crown or Tiara, turf or dirt, win or lose— As long as each step carries me, I will carry my rivals’ dreams with me and ensure their happily ever after!”

Biography:
As if coming from the page of a storybook, there’s none more noble nor fanciful than Sword of Soulaan! This uma wears his cultural pride on his chest, telling the tales of his people with every step. 

Inspired by Japanese Tiara competitors, both in and outside of Triple Tiara races, this strangely regal exchange student prides himself on being “The Gentleman Tiara”. Having experienced the kind of sisterhood that being a Tiara brings, while exploring his own path later in life, he sets to be an esteemed rival who takes the dreams of Crown and Tiara competitors alike and catapults them further. 

Seeing that his home only has a national Triple Crown and no national Triple Tiara to support, Sword of Soulaan fixed his gaze beyond the horizons of America. Guided by newfound purpose, The Gentleman Tiara has arrived to Tracen with the hope of seeing his quest through!

(Hypothetical) Friendships: Durandal, Zenno Rob Roy, Kawakami Princess

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I’m liking it so far! Following in the tradition of Uma Musume, certain parts of my vaguesona's bio includes details that are based on information from this world. For example, the detail about Sword having "cold-blooded" family members is in reference to the fact that I'm a draft horse! Depending on the breed, draft/draught horses are often called "Coldbloods" to distinguish them from other horses.

Other parts focus on Tiara Umamusume and the Triple Tiara. A little bit of this references my transmasculinity, but the core reason for mentioning Tiaras is based on my interests as a fan of Uma Musume. I became interested in researching the racehorses’ careers because of one specific character: Gentildonna. Easily my favorite of Uma Musume’s cast, the theriform Gentildonna is an impressive racehorse whose history in the industry left me on the verge of tears when I discovered her page on Northern Farm’s website (the farm where she currently retires). After roughly translating her page, learning more about her come-up as a racehorse, and also watching some of her races on YouTube, my enjoyment of this character increased tenfold. I began to catch little glimpses of her theriform counterpart’s life in the game. From her family tradition of climbing Mount Fuji by age seven (a reference to theriform Gentildonna’s skills in slope training at a young age) to her often being by herself until she’s roped into things by other Umamusume (a reference to Gentil’s habit of not socializing with other fillies or mares and standing off independently in pastures, a trait she shares with her mother Donna Blini and her sister Donau Blue), it made learning as much as I could about these horses my top priority.

As far as fiction goes, the stories of Tiara Umamusume captivated me the most. Main Story, Volume 2 focuses on many of them, particularly from the perspective of Rhein Kraft who deeply admires her Tiara contemporaries and the Triple Tiara even more so. Throughout this section of the Main Story, it’s evident that Crown Umamusume (or at least those who pursue the Triple Crown) garner more attention and support than those who pursue the Triple Tiara. This circumstance highlights the industry’s negligence of fillies in horse racing, despite there being no shortage of racing champions who happen to be female horses. Yes, horse misogyny is a thing. I’m disappointed but never surprised. The societies we live in are weird when it comes to a lot of things, especially in context to sex and gender. It’s always a shame to see it projected against nonhuman animals; after all, their coexistence alongside humankind and the social concepts it’s created have nothing to do with them. Yet, even they are affected by it. I can understand why other Global fans are skeptical over how this history can be adapted, given the unisex trait that Umamusume have as a species. Even so, I’m glad that the writers for the game decided to explore it anyway. I wouldn’t be the fan that I am without it.

In a way, it’s kind of sad. Regarding Global fans, the same people who act out over transmasculine headcanons and claim they “erase” representation do little with Tiara Umamusume— let alone take the time to learn about the incredible fillies and mares whose legacies deserve just as much attention as racehorses like Symboli Rudolf, Gold Ship, Agnes Tachyon, etc. It doesn’t help that misinformation circulates so easily either. I’m not above admitting that I initially believed the whole “Gold Ship was too afraid to breed with Gentildonna!” thing, but I went on to learn more about the horse as she was when she raced and became more fond of her character as a result. That’s something I wish more folks would do instead. I love engaging in the fictional aspect of Umamusume like any other fan, but engaging in the nonfictional aspect of it makes the experience even better in my opinion. We wouldn’t have any of it without the horses themselves, so why not look into those legacies? If not out of interest, then at least out of respect as fans. 

Because of what I’ve learned, and what I continue to learn, I’ve grown rather biased towards Tiara Umamusume. I consider myself one by proxy. In theory, I would present as a Crown Umamusume since I’m transmasculine (I associate myself with stallions and refer to myself as such when talking about my equinehood). One could say I pulled a T.M. Opera O (one of the character’s secrets being a change of positioning for his ear ornaments, which contextually references their theriform counterpart’s gender). However, I identify more with the social and cultural standing of Tiara Umamusume since I spent much of my life living it. I feel in community with them, so to speak. If not that, I’d just be a huge fan of the Japanese Triple Tiara as a character. Either works for me. All things considered, this is a pretty layered vaguetype.